Credit for the Little Things!

Seems like at the end of most days I find myself thinking of all the things I DIDN'T get done that day.  I've been meaning to hang some pictures, work on my son's quilt, clean the bathroom, call a good friend, pay the bills, etc.

Today, while looking after my reflection in my spotless stovetop, I was feeling quite proud of myself and the amazing job I did cleaning my stove.  I felt a little silly as I stood there patting myself on the back for doing something simple I honestly should be doing more often!  

Next I FINALLY hung the clothesline I've been meaning to do for months.  

As the day rolled on, I fed toddlers,  did laundry, made dinner, got kids to nap, all the usual daily things, I got to thinking about my good feelings from accomplishing a clean stovetop and hanging a clothesline.  Why did I feel silly being proud of those little things?  Should we not feel accomplished when we do something good?  Whether it's big or small shouldn't matter.  I'm not expecting to do any "big" accomplishments any time soon.  I've graduated from all the school I plan to attend, I've gotten married, I've birthed two babies, and I'm not planning any big changes in my career.

These small accomplishments are what I should me noting and being proud of, because these small accomplishments are actually building blocks for my only remaining major accomplishment I'm working towards.  My last big goal is to be a good person, a dedicated Christian, and a loving wife and mother.  My days are filled with small things, little bites of time, continually moving from one task to the next.  These small things really are what I should be noting!  These small things, done well, are the things that matter the most, because these are the very things that are getting me to my last major goal.  So, next time your toddler eats all their food without complaint, or potty training is going surprising well, or you had time to deep clean your stovetop and hang a clothesline, or your baby sleeps though the night, or you get your daily prayer time in 3 days in a row, or you finish the yard work, you make a really great new recipe for dinner, or you and your spouse have a really great discussion, feel good about it!  You should feel good about it, you are building blocks and getting closer and closer to your most important goals. 

My last and greatest goal

Special Dates Calendar

Mothers' Day is this weekend, I'm betting lots of moms would like this calendar! 😏

This has been a project I've been wanting to do for almost twenty years!  In college, I saw my roommate Daun's homemade calendar of birthdays, anniversaries, and special dates hanging beside her monthly wall calendar.  I immediately loved it.  I love handwritten things, calendars, and celebrating special events, so this was right up my alley.  Unfortunately, life happens and I was consumed with other crafts, projects, work, travel, children, etc. and never got around to making my own.

When I finally decided to get it done, I figured I should make it shareable.  How many more people out there would love something like this, but would never take the time to make it themselves?!  If you're like me and you miss the days of handwritten notes on a wall calendar but simultaneously understand the practicality of using google calendar, this little calendar is for you!  I do love my google calendar.  Who can beat the convenience of having your calendar on your phone, with reminders no less, and link it to be shared automatically with others?!  But... I've noticed some things sneak up on me, like... a family member's birthday, which I notice the very day of the birthday, well... guess I won't be getting a card in the mail this year.  So, I'll keep my google calendar for work schedule, doctor appointments, and such, and I'll add this pretty little calendar and hang it in my kitchen, so I can see all the special dates I want to remember this month!  The best of both worlds!

I am giving this calendar for free (you are welcome to share, make for others, but please only for personal use, don't go making 100s of copies and selling them).  I'm including a "donate" button on the top right of my blog if you would like to give a little something for it.  I'll be passing on all donations to a family I know that is in need of a little financial assistance due to coronavirus.  Click here to make a donation.

Download the pdf, print, and handwrite your special dates on your calendar.  Print on cardstock and I recommend using a piece of cardboard as a backing so it's less likely for the pages to curl over time.  After printing, trim the sides and bottom excess (I left the top to have a little margin for my holes to be punched).

Click here to download:  PDF of calendar

After printing I'd recommend punching 3 or 4 holes at the top and tying with twine or using small keyrings, so you can flip it like a calendar each month.  However you choose to use it...  ENJOY!

-Betsy

5 years later

Well, here we are, over 5 years since my last entry on this blog.  My life has changed in many ways in these years.  I have moved five times, walked a 500 mile pilgrimage, lost a grandmother, gotten married, have had two children and three miscarriages, had my dream job teaching middle school religion, "retired" from teaching after 14 years, and lived in a nationwide quarantine.  I feel as though I am a completely different person than I was 5 years ago.

Tomorrow is my 40th birthday; I can barely bring myself to type those words!  I feel about 28 years old most of the time, and yet, I'm not 28.  And you know what, I'm glad I'm not 28.  In fact, I'm glad I'm not 38, or 18, or any other younger age.  I feel I know myself now more than I've ever known myself before.  And that better understanding of myself, as well as better understanding of the world, my place in it, my relationship with God, and my role in His Church, has led me to such a different place than I've known before.  A place of contentedness.  Not lukewarmness, or boredom, but a place where I am rest in my knowledge of myself, my strengths and weaknesses, my goals, my gifts, and a place of hope and peace in knowledge of God.  A place of confidence and trust in his plan for me and his Church.

This is 40.
The waves don't rock my boat,
the rain doesn't wreck my hair,
even this crazy coronavirus can't break me.

Hang in there, everyone, and when in doubt, reflect on some positive ways you've grown in the past 5 years.

Sweet & Simple

I tend to get ahead of myself when it comes to birthdays, decorating, decluttering, crafting, .... ok, well I tend to get ahead of myself with almost everything.  I love celebrating people, events, and holidays!  If you asked my husband, he would tell you he has to reign me in so I don't volunteer to host every holiday, birthday, and family gathering at our house.  And he knows that would include making decorations and themed beautifully iced cookies!  

I honestly don't do these things because I feel I should for family members, or pressure to be a "good mom" by making cute things from pinterest.  I am one of those strange people that actually ENJOYS these things!  It usually doesn't stress me out, and it always gives me joy.  

But.  Here is what I've learned. The simpler I do things, the more time and energy I have to devote to people.  The simpler I do things, the less drained I feel at the end of the day.  The simpler I do things, the more time I have to visit with our family and friends, take pictures in a relaxed way (not yelling orders and getting frustrated with the kids), and even sit down and actually finish a drink instead of leaving it somewhere while I bounce from duty to duty making sure everything is in place and gets done.

Sweet and simple.  

I'm sure all you practically minded people are wondering what exactly that looks like.  

SWEET:  Be very intentional with which events you choose to host.  Choose the ones that hold value to you, if it's not that meaningful (a babyshower for a coworker you barely know) let someone else host, instead choose the ones you're excited about.  I host family Halloween get together every year because my husband and I love costumes and Halloween!  

Also be intentional about the decorations, food, time/date.  Remember, it's okay to choose what works for you.  If there's something you saw on pinterest you are just dying to do for your kid's birthday, go for it!  But... be aware of the time you have to do it, and be very aware of your own capabilities.  A great way to get stressed out is by trying to make something and watching it become a pinterest fail on your kitchen counter at 11pm the day before the party.

SIMPLE:  Be intentional about the amount of decorations and food you want/need.  Remind yourself, the less you do, the more time you have to enjoy yourself with family and friends, say it over and over as you scroll pinterest!  As a general rule of thumb, I'd recommend making one type decoration and one food item.  If you can afford to, buy the other things.   Of you can't afford to feed 30 people store bought dinner, than you choose, either invite less people, make it a potluck, or make the time of the party not during a meal time.  Don't forget, choose things that are doable for you!  

Remember, it's perfectly fine to reuse things you've done before!  If that appetizer was a smash at last year's birthday, make it again!  Nobody will complain about good food!  In my picture at the top of this post,  you see a happy birthday banner.  We have reused this dollar tree banner for several years!  Would I like a nicer one?  Yes.  Have I thought many times about making a new beautiful one?  Yes.  But, it's very made the cut as a priority when I planning for a birthday.  Also, yes, those are birthday cards attached with mini clothespins.  I love displaying the cards, but with two toddlers running around it's hard to find a good place for them.  

Lastly, remember when you are prioritizing, some of these things matter more to you than to anyone else.  Well, let's be honest, some of them matter ONLY to you!  That reused birthday banner, for example, nobody else cares if I make a fancy new one or we keep using the old one.  My two-year-old only cares if we wear party hats for birthday (party hats that have also be reused for every birthday in the last year!).  Knowing this can help you prioritize where you spend your time and energy before the day of the event and also at the event.  Reminding yourself of it often can also help keep your stress low when things don't go as planned, and I'm guaranteeing you, there will aways be things that don't go as planned! 

If you enjoy birthdays, holidays, and celebrations of all kinds like I do, hopefully these tips will help you to keep it sweet, simple, and stress free!  Have fun! 

When the only thing you can do is pray

Today I bring you what is the saddest news I can imagine.  My best friend and her husband, Teresa (Vrazel) and Jon Kiehl lost their youngest son yesterday in a tragic drowning accident.  Ezekiel was only 18 months old. 

Teresa and Jon are some of the most amazing parents, one of the most amazing couples, some of the most amazing PEOPLE I know.  For the past two years they have been serving as missionaries with Family Missions Company in Mexico.  Those of you who went to Franciscan may have seen them in the Franciscan Way a couple of months ago in the article about Franciscan graduates that are now missionaries.  I could go on and on about the great work they do, the churches they've raised money for and built, the food and medicine they provide for people there, the Sacraments they've prepared people for... but that's not what this post is about.  Nor is it about the great love Teresa and Jon show each other and their children.  They have 6 children and Teresa is pregnant with their seventh.  90% of the time they are beaming with love for each other, for their children, and love for God and His people.  Teresa's strong faith has been an inspiration and she has been a witness to me since 8th grade, through high school, college, and in the decade since we graduated.  But their witness, her amazing friendship for the last 20 years, and their missionary work, are not what this post is about either.

This post comes from a place deep within me.  A place where I find it so difficult to express myself with words, a place where only tears can express what I have to say.  Since I heard the news of Ezekiel's death I have been able to think of nothing else.  The hours go by while I teach my students, eat dinner, and go about my day but my mind is elsewhere.  All I can think about is Teresa and Jon's pain at this moment.  My heart aches for them.  If my thoughts do land on what I'm doing, it is only to compare how insignificant whatever I'm doing or thinking about is compared to their situation.  You see, I cannot fathom what they are going through, nothing in my life even compares, nothing I've ever experienced in my life compares.  I have never lost someone so close to me, I'm not even a mother, much less a mother who has experienced the death of her child.  So, I find myself asking the question, "What can I possibly do for them?!"  You know how it is, when you feel overwhelmed and helpless all at the same time.  You feel consumed by this tragedy, and at the same time you want to be consumed because you know it should consume you, it puts everything happening in your life into perspective and it should be consuming you... this is LIFE we're talking about.  But I feel so useless, what can I do for them?  My friend needs me right now!  I'm 1,000 miles away with no way to communicate... what can I do?!  They do not need another casserole brought to their house, a card sent in the mail, or money donated in his name.  Don't get me wrong, these things are VERY helpful, and I'm sure each and every condolence card will be read and appreciated, every plate of food will be eaten by the kids, and every donation will be put to good use (knowing Teresa and Jon they will use it to repair someone's house or build a chapel in a remote area where they are serving).  What I mean is, how can I really help them, where they are hurting the most?  Help them through the suffering and pain?  What can I do?  Teresa has been one of my best friends for TWENTY YEARS and I feel more united to her now more than ever ... I want to do something!

My mind goes to prayer, of course.  I immediately think, "The only thing I can do is pray." but then something hit me, why do I think that?  "The only thing I can do is pray." When in actuality, it is not the ONLY thing I can do, but it's the BEST thing I can do.  What do Teresa and Jon need more than anything right now?  God knows.  I would give anything and everything in my power to relieve even an ounce of their suffering right now.  But wait... I can.  Ahh the beauty of prayer, the most amazing gift you can ever give.  No matter where you are, no matter who you are, rich or poor, near or far, doesn't matter, you can pray for them.  You don't even have to know them, or know how to pray for that matter, just tell God, "They need you right now, and you know what they need... please give them what they need right now."  I ask you to join with me in lifting up their family in prayer.  Do it now, while you're reading this.  Say an Our Father, a Hail Mary, or simply "Lord, help them." It will only take a few seconds but I guarantee it's the best thing you can do for them.  Later today, when their family pops into your head, say a quick prayer again, before you know it their family will have thousands upon thousands of prayers being prayed for them.  Ask the saints and angels to pray for them, ask your friends and family to pray for them.  Oh the Communion of Saints is amazing and we do not depend on each other the way we should!  I beg of you, please pray for them.  It's not the only thing we can do for them, it's the BEST thing we can do for them.

Teresa and Jon are driving home to Mississippi tomorrow.  Ezekiel's funeral will be on Tuesday at Holy Family Church, Pass Christian, MS.

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for your prayers.  I will leave you with some pictures of beautiful Ezekiel and his beautiful family.